Learning to Live a Life of Nonviolence

"People say walkin on water is a miracle, but to me walking peaceful on Earth is the real miracle" ~Thich Nhat Hanh

I am studying Miki Kashtan's Book Spinning Threads of Radical Aliveness. In the book she offers the Core Commitments.  I have been mediating on these for sometime in an effort to deepen my study I have been writing about what comes up for me with each of these commitments.  It is my longing to live in a more peaceful world and so I am working to change myself first. 

Core Commitment # 7 Loving No Matter What: even when my needs are seriously unmet, I want to keep my heart open. If I find myself becoming judgmental, angry, or otherwise triggered, I want to seek support in transforming my judgments and meeting others with love.

This is definitely a hard one.   I mean who can love everyone all the time.  It is so embedded in our cultural consciousness to judge each especially when someone is doing something that is in opposition to how we want to live. 

I so deeply desire to live in peace with other people and yet it is so often than people act in ways that trigger sadness in me.  Seeing people litter or not recycle, seeing people throwing food in the trash can that will go to a dump instead of composting so that it can become dirt or food that could be feeding people who don't have enough to eat. I feel so sad and have a deep deep longing for wise use of resources. 

Some days I think i have taken on more than taken on more than i am possibly accomplish. But then I remind myself of the other commitments and it is better to have to commitment and “Fail. Fail again. Fail better.” ~ Samuel Beckett than to give up before I start. 

Truthfully I have given up many many times but my heart calls me back or this world calls me to work at it again.  

And I am still finding the line between Loving No Matter What and not allowing people to use and abuse me. I thought when I was young if I would just give and give then the world would have to come through at some point and offer back what I was offering. Now that I am older and in my humble opinion wiser I have learned to step back and give what is comfortable to give and that I can love from a distance.  I do not have to live in the drama to be loving.  

Also while I like the above idea that love is anyway or in spite of. I have a feeling as I grow it will be because.....because this other personal is full human and I can see it. Because we are all perfectly imperfect. Because I see this other persons pain and sorrow. Because I see with my whole heart as I have learned to see myself with my whole heart and not through the eyes of others whose hearts were not open. 

So Namaste,  I bow to you and see the divine energy of existence in you as I learn to  bow to myself and see the divine energy of existence in myself. 



  ☾ Oceana SisterMoon is currently living her dream of a sustainable life, raising chickens, and growing food with her 4 children. She seeks to help women unearth their power through sisterhood and healing through self-connection , interdependence, power in vulnerability, and authenticity. 

The World Needs You Now

“You matter.

You are important.

There is a reason for your existence.

You may not see or understand how this is true, but truth doesn't cease to be truth because of doubt, blindness, or ignorance. 

And the truth is―you matter.” 

~Richelle E. Goodrich

I have been meditating on Miki Kashtan's Core Commitments for several months. This is a series of blog posts for me to explore these with the greater world.  Practicing risking my significance. 

3. Risking my Significance: even when I am full of doubt, I want to offer myself in full to the world. If I find myself thinking that I am not important or that my actions are of no significance, I want to seek support to come back to my knowledge that my presence and my gifts matter.

What would change in your life if you trusted that you matter? 

I grew up like so many children do.  My needs came last after all the grown ups in my world. First, my mother then grandparents, when I started school my teachers. I wasn't listened too. If there was a time in my life that I knew how to speak up for myself I forgot. There were sometimes in high school I tried to speak up but teachers either criticized or ignored for whatever their reasons were at the time. 

Speaking up has always been hard for me.  Now close to middle age,  like many times before I am trying to find my voice again.  I have had and lost so many relationships because my needs in the end didn't matter enough to the other person for them to attempt to work through our conflict.  There is still significance ache at the loss of these friends. 

My first thought when I think about this question is not about trusting that I mattered because I have never entered a relationship in which I thought otherwise. Entities are a different thing. Do I matter to the government or a Restaurant that seems an easy no. But the important relationships in my life I have (at least until shown otherwise) that we each mattered equally.  

And yet I know I have so much to offer the world. 

When my oldest was born (16 years ago) I read a book a book called The Continuum Concept by Jean Liedloff. It changed my thinking on life in so many ways. The author was traveling in the Amazon and met a tribe that cared for their children in the complete opposite way as most people in the United States at the time. Of course nursing their children but also tying them on their backs. They didn't have a word for work.  Even though they "worked" harder than many white people on a daily basis for them it was just life. And each member of the tribe had intrinsic value regardless of whether or not they preformed "work" 

 I longed to live my life this way for myself and for my children. Little did I know then when I was only in my early twenties and so naive how much of a hold our culture had on me. I mistakenly thought if I thought about it differently then I could live it differently. Oh, the isolation and criticism I encountered. While I was ready to change our culture to what I say as something different others didn't see what was "wrong" with our culture and I was at best naive to some people and at worst severely harming my children according to others. I can only imagine these encounters where I mattered intrinsically and they did too to the world. 

I can feel my body relax a bit, I unthinkingly breath a bit deeper my muscles that i hold so tight let go at least for the moment.  For a moment at least I just enjoy this relaxation in my body that I hold so tight so often prepared for fight-flight-freeze. Almost always on alert prepared for the next disaster.  i have spent so many hours trying t calm this being told by the new age movement that I have caused the bad things to happen to myself by being afraid adding insult to injury. 

I would love to offer more of myself to the world . Really this is what I am doing with this blog at least that is the attempt to offer up moments from my life. The thoughts I have about studying Nonviolent Communication for the last 4 years.  I also share it because I still dream of living in a peaceful world despite it all and I want more people to know what can be gotten out of studying NVC.  I  think NVC is a major peace in creating a sustainable future. 


Studying NVC learning to identify my needs in times of frustration and hurt helps me matter to myself even when I the other person appears to not be putting value on my needs this gives me the strength to offer myself more fully to the world no matter the response. So here I am working to offer myself to the world through this blog risking my significance. 

Go to mettacenter.org  for more info about the Core Commitments. 

Oceana SisterMoon is currently living her dream of a sustainable life, raising chickens, and growing food with her 4 children. She seeks to help women unearth their power through sisterhood and healing through self-connection , interdependence, power in vulnerability, and authenticity.