Adventures in Committing Myself to Nonviolence

“But feelings can't be ignored, no matter how unjust or ungrateful they seem.” 

― Anne Frank

Robert Plutchik's "Wheel of Emotions"

I am working through  Miki Kashtan's Core Commitments from her website The Fearless Heart. 

Today I am meditating on #2 

 Openness to the Full Emotional Range: even when my feelings are uncomfortable for me, I want to stay present with myself and keep my heart open to the fullness of my emotional experience. If I find myself contracting away from my experience, numb or shut down, I want to seek support to release defendedness and open to what is.

This one is a big one for me as it seems to be for so many. For women allowing themselves to be angry is often unacceptable and therefore hard for many. I have met women who are practically unable to express anger except in the most extreme circumstances or who cry when they are mad because this is more acceptable form of expression. For men feeling sad or scared is unacceptable in our society.  These social constructs make is very hard for us  be open to our "full emotional range." One of my goals in blogging about this is to offer support to those out there and in turn I am hoping that a larger community that wants to create such a world that men, women and people may join at least an online community in support of creating more communities that are in local spaces also.

Being open to the full emotional range does not mean that is okay to take actions when we are angry particularly when they would hurt another person or vice versa.  It seems to me that many people struggle to feel their emotions without acting on them. We want change if we are angry we want the person we see as the cause to know or sometimes even to suffer or if we are afraid we want to leave the situation. Our bodies were designed for action as in fight or flight. Or to prepare for death as in freeze. 

But we do not have full access to all of our creativity when we are in a state of fight flight or freeze and so often we end up making decisions that do not help us and sometimes make the situation worse because we are not truly in life or death situations which is where or fight/flight/freeze reaction evolved from.

Learning to sit with an uncomfortable emotion has been a process for me. But one that I enjoy now. In the beginning is was new and very scary and uncomfortable. Now I find  the practice easier.  Though going through each emotion has it's own struggles. 

Anger for me is often a protective shielding for something that is too scary or too sad. Through this practice I am learning to soften myself and allow myself to be vulnerable.  I am still working on finding my peace with sometimes being an angry woman, learning to recognize that this view of myself is influenced by the society I live in that separates us in a binary way allowing some to feel some emotions and others to feel other emotions. 

Miki Kashtan has published some of her thoughts about this topic at Metta Center complete with suggested activities.  I hope you enjoy. Please leave feedback thank you. 

Oceana SisterMoon is currently living her dream of a sustainable life, raising chickens, and growing food with her 4 children. She seeks to help women unearth their power through sisterhood and healing through self-connection , interdependence, power in vulnerability, and authenticity.